How to Relate to Your Man

How to relate to a man

There are constant communication issues prevalent in marriages. One word uttered could either earn you a kiss or a, well, grumble.

It’s often hard for couples to find that fine line between pleasing the spouse and displeasing the spouse.

Today, Pastor Jonathan touched on how “How to Relate to a man.” He quoted from the 1st Peter 3-6. In these verses of The Bible, the following were extrapolated: women should draw beauty from within and submit to their husbands.

However, The Bible also admonished husbands to be considerate with their wives and treat them with respect.

Based on the days thematic trajectory, these questions were raised: How should women relate to men? How should they know when to ask for certain things without sounding annoying? How can they draw the best out of their spouses?

Imagine a man who rushed home from work to catch an afternoon football game. Just when he settled into his best seat, opened the refreshing drink and rubbed his palms for the game, his wife walked in and presented a request.

Brother said: “I’d do it later.” He continued watching his game.

“You’ve started again! Gush.”

“Started what?”

“Can I…”

“I guess the match is more important.”

Now, let’s pay attention here. Where’s the problem: lack of communication? How should the conversation have started or, better still, what should both parties have done before now?

Science has shown that the human brain has four lobes and they are: The Frontal Lobe, Parietal Lobe, Temporal Lobe, and The Occipital Lobe.

“The frontal lobe is located at the front of the brain and is associated with reasoning, motor skills, higher level cognition, and expressive language.” Without it, humans cant analyse problems. It’s this part of the brain that most men tend to use in handling communication in their marital spaces, failing to employ other parts often.

Because men and women were created in different forms, women tend to engage their parietal lobe when communicating in most situations. “The parietal lobe is located in the middle section of the brain and is associated with processing tactile sensory information such as pressure, emotion, touch, and pain.”

As such, there is always a clash of expectations. There’s never a middle ground. However, if brother and sister knew when to switch to the essential lobe per time, they would avoid a lot of tension in their marriage.

John Taiwo, from the media team puts it well when he quips that couples “need to manage expectations”. Drawing from our example above, the woman should have communicated her desires to the man before hand and the man must have delivered what was expected.

Larry Crab in his book, The Marriage Builder, says “The central truth that serves as the platform for Christian marriage — and for all Christian relationships — is that in Christ we are at every moment eternally loved and genuinely significant.”

Let Christ, therefore, be our guide in the way we treat our spouse.

Fight the Good Fight

One of the things I don’t like doing is fighting people. I like to make up with people as soon as possible otherwise I’d lose my sleep! Can’t afford that you know 🙂. So when my 5 year old ( an ardent fan of Star Wars 😀) asked me what I don’t like about Star Wars, my quick reply was “the fighting”. His even quicker answer to that is “but mummy, they fight to save the Galaxy! They just don’t fight for nothing!!”

The wisdom in this reply by such a little child actually stopped me in my tracks and made me think deeply. While I’d never advocate actually fighting people, in life we tend to face so many battles. We fight situations, circumstances, mindsets, being put in a box, negativity, rejections, strongholds … and the list goes on and on.

To have or achieve anything worthwhile on this side of eternity, we have to fight . For some the battles are more intense than it is for others. You might even decide I don’t wanna fight, just wanna be in my own little corner doing my own thing. Just leave me be where I am. There’s however a common enemy we all are up against who will fight us whether we want to or not. This enemy doesn’t want any good for mankind. So whatever you do you’re in a battle anyway! You might as well make sure you come out of this unsolicited battle a victor.

The best way I have found to do the battle of life is by staying connected to One who is stronger than my enemy, my power source: Jehovah, the mighty man of war. When you stay connected to him in the spiritual realm, He makes much power available in the physical to combat and be a victor. He gives you the wisdom to strategise, inspiration to know the right things to do and say in all situations, and the power to simply thwart the devil in all his plans for your life so you can laugh in his face!

You have to ensure you fight a well directed battle so you don’t fight as one beating the air. This can only be done with the help of One who’s gone ahead of you to ensure your victory.

Truth is battles are inevitable. May the Lord give us all the wisdom and tenacity required so we can win all the time! #fightthegoodfight #emporedforwarfare #victoryinchrist #glorytogod

Tosin Oyelakin

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